That's intense
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
