You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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