matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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