he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
