You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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