I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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