reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you win again, gameday.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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