I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
