Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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