I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize