We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
