Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
