Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now sheâs a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. âHigh maintenance hotâ doesnât even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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