Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
