shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
