I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
