I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
