so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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