dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Randomize