Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
