Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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