I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
