where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize