In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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