Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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