so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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