I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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