Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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