Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
