I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
