your room smells of hookers.
And success
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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