I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize