im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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