Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize