I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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