Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
