Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dick very happy bro
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
