I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
