i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
