You smell like stripper and shame
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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