she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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