Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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