just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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