I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My cat gives me a boner
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
