she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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