im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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