Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
