if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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