in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
