Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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