I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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