So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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