I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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