i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
