she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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