I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
